Leaving the Dream by Sesa Woruban
Author's Notes: Abyss has touched me in many ways and I had to- needed to- write a fic. It doesn't begin to cover off all the things I want to say and I can't do it as well as they do but it's a start.
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He woke again to his nightmare.
The lights around him confirmed that he was back at the start, the endless cycle of the pain of torture followed by the torment of hopelessness. But, as before, the moment quickly left him as he realized with little relief that he was actually in his own bed in his own apartment. He didn't bother to wonder how many more times he would awake that way.
Slowly, he sat up in the suffocating darkness and pulled away the damp sheets that did nothing to protect him from the cold that wasn't outside in the room.
He sensed a presence at the foot of his bed.
"Daniel?" he whispered.
"Er, no, sir, it's me, it's Sam."
An almost physical rush pulled him from the dark place he had been to his bed, Earth and to the memory of Carter, Sam, promising to stay with him until he woke. He couldn't remember why or how he'd been persuaded by her to let her stay, he didn't need or want any help.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Erm, what time is it?"
"About 4am, sir."
"Oh." Had she been sitting there, with him all this time? Wasn't she as exhausted as he was? She'd certainly looked it last night as she drove him home. He didn't deserve all this special treatment.
There was a long pause and he drifted back to the last week and his mind was flooded with a million thoughts that he couldn't hold onto or translate into coherency. Eventually, she spoke and he didn't think that he'd ever heard her sound so unsure of herself.
"So, you dream of Daniel too?"
His first, always his first, reaction was to make a flippant comment but it faded away before it even came near his lips. Instead, he found himself telling her the truth because she deserved it.
"He came to visit me, while I was... ya know..."
The silence that followed was hard to gauge and, in the darkness he could only see that her eyes were open and looking at him. He pressed on.
"Yeah, we... er... we chatted about stuff, he wanted to help me ascend, help me get out of there."
Still more silence. Damn she was making this talking thing tough... then why was he still doing it as if it were the easiest thing in the world?
"Yeah, he did his candle and the wind thing and stuff, tried to tell me that my only way out was to go all glow-boy. I told him it just wasn't my style, ya know."
After what seemed like an eternity - he wasn't/couldn't give her anymore - she finally spoke and it wasn't the questioning of his sanity he was expecting.
"Not your style?"
Why did she sound like she was crying and smiling at the same time?
"Well, there's the whole cooking the meal and releasing the burden thing. I'm just not the type of guy that goes for that sort of stuff. Besides, I've got plenty to keep me going here, with you- I mean- and you, and the rest of the gang, I knew that you were gonna bust me out of there sooner or later, right?"
"Right... sir."
He could see her stand up, trying to hide her aching muscles and the discomfort she felt and move towards the door.
"Look, I probably ought to be heading back to the base, to do um, some stuff."
Suddenly the feeling of wanting her to stay, just to sit with him came back in full force and he remembered why he'd agreed to her staying last night. Say something, Jack, just say something.
"Sam?"
She froze near the doorway, a new kind of tension apparent in the dark outline of her shoulders. She turned and at the same moment the headlights from a passing car lit up her features. For an instant, he saw he saw a panic and a thrilling excitement etched on her face before the darkness took her face away again.
"Kinda scary, isn't it?"
There was a long pause and even if he couldn't see it, he knew she was trying to search out his face, to look for what he meant by that. Hell, *he* didn't know what he meant by that and he was hidden safely in the shadows anyway.
Her final choice of response seemed as cryptic as his initial admission, "I guess scary is what we do."
"And we do it so well." He allowed himself to relax into a slight grin before finding himself saying nothing of importance at all.
"Guess that'll just have to do for the moment until I work this burden-bearing out of my system, huh?"
He didn't need to be able to see her face to picture the expression it would hold as he saw her form turn towards the door again and reach for the handle.
"So, see you at the base in the morning, Major?"
"You bet."
She pulled the door open, the hall light from downstairs silhouetting her body as she moved out onto the landing. She turned ever so slightly and he watched her lips move as she spoke.
"Goodnight."
He heard her leave just before he drifted off. He fell asleep with her voice running in his mind and a small smile on his face. Maybe one day, when he was ready, he'd get to hear her say that every time he left the dream for sleep.
~FINIS~
